A work in progress

Assuming that all goes well with the surveying and DHEC appointment, this will be the future location of our home.

It is .91 acres on a cul-de-sac.  We have a lot of clearing to do, but even with that expense, we got an exceptional deal on the size.  The lot beside us is selling for $24,000 more than what we paid and is smaller.  Ours was bank owned, which is how we got such a great price.  We have 30 days to change our mind, but as long as we don't receive any negative news with DHEC, we have no desire to do so. 

I will keep you all updated with the progress!

30th Birthday Wish

Last week, Rob asked me what I want to do for my 30th birthday.  I want to run.  A 5k?  A 10k?  I don't know yet.  I've never ran other than in high school when we had to run the mile for P.E. or that one time in a nightmare when I was being chased by a scary.  I've always wanted to participate in some type of run, but that seems far fetched for someone that doesn't run.  Participating in a run usually requires RUNNING.  What a concept!  Once my 29th birthday rolls around in several weeks and we're finished with Insanity, I'm going to start running.  It will probably be more like hobbling/walking, but you have to start somewhere.  It is better to start at any level than never starting due to the fear that you can't do it.  This blog will hold me to some sort of accountability, too.  Lets do this!

Buddies

After I had Caden, I couldn't comprehend loving another child.  The love a mother has for her child is so overpowering.  How could your heart handle that much love?  Even while pregnant with Adalyn, I still wondered, but I reminded myself how easy it was to love Caden.  I just did.  He did nothing but breathe and I was head over heels.  From the moment I held him in my arms, I knew that I would let nothing harm him and I would give my life for him.  Loving another child had to be the same.  It's just a maternal thing, right?!  Well, it was.  My heart is so full of love each and everyday.  What makes loving two little people even better?  Watching those two little people interact and be buddies.  I could watch Caden and Adalyn play together all day.

Double the work, double the love.

An announcement

Rob was offered a job a few days after his interview back in December, which he accepted.  He'll be working at Duke Energy Oconee Nuclear Station.  We'll be moving to Clemson, SC in May.  Rob didn't feel comfortable with making a big announcement so that's why it's been a little shady about locations.  We're very excited about moving to this area.  It's a small town, but small isn't a bad thing. :)

Opposites attract..

If you've ever met Rob and you know me, you will quickly notice that our personalities are quite different.  Rob is very outgoing and I'm more  reserved.  He could give a public speech naked while I'd rather hide in a box while giving one.  I think this is ideal for us.  Our differences compliment the other person.  I'm his emotion and he's my reason.  Even though our personalities are polar opposites, we mesh together when it comes to life decisions. 

So, we just took personality tests.  Rob is ENTJ and I'm ISFJ.  It fits me overall, but I don't feel as patient as this describes me.  Here's my description:

You Are an ISFJ (Introvert, Sensor, Feeler, Judger)

ISFJs represent between 9 and 14% of the U.S. population
Sensitive, caring, patient, and conscientious, ISFJs can take time to warm up to new ideas and people. Painstakingly accurate and methodical when working with facts and details, ISFJs are patient with follow-through tasks. They tend to take commitments and deadlines very seriously, have excellent memories and are especially good at remembering details pertaining to people.
They are patient listeners, eager to help people in real and practical ways. Quiet, private and reserved at first, but once they make a connection they are exceptionally loyal, generous and devoted. ISFJs are down-to-earth and realistic people and use practical judgment in making decisions and lend stability through their excellent commonsense perspective. ISFJs are modest, serious and hardworking and highly supportive of friends and colleagues.

It's a Girl!

This is a story about the day that we met Adalyn for the first time.  Her birth story.

Adalyn's birth was completely opposite to Caden's, from the length of time to her health afterwards.  We chose to be induced on the Friday before her due date.  Rob's parents could travel from Maryland, my Mom could request off from work and we would have plenty of help with Caden.   

I cried after I told Caden "good night" that night because I knew our life would never be the same.  I didn't sleep the night before either.  I was so nervous, yet so excited!  That would be one thing that I didn't enjoy about being induced versus going into labor on my own.  When you go into labor on your own, you don't have as much time to worry, or in my opinion at least.  Plus, I've had a baby before and I wasn't looking forward to the recovery.

We showed up at the hospital about 6 am, filled out paperwork, did blood work then waited on my OB until 9:30 am.  Once she arrived, we started pitocin.  She told me to get my epidural as soon as it started getting too painful.  Don't wait!  It takes me a bit to dilate, but once I start, I go fast. 

Around noon, Dr. Sutton came in to check me and I was about a 3 and almost fully dilated, which wasn't much of a change and my contractions were weak.  She broke my water.  If you've ever had your water broken, or it broke naturally (like mine did with Caden), you know that the contractions become evil afterwards.  About 1:30 pm, I'd say that active labor started.  I was uncomfortable and mean.  I yelled at my Mom and Rob for talking about the release of the iPad that weekend.  How dare they talk while I'm laboring?  ;)

About 3:30 pm, I wanted my epidural.  The nurse told me that I needed to wait because I was only 3 1/4 dilated.  A 1/4 of a centimeter?  Are you kidding me?  Get real.  My room was across from the nurse station and she apparently heard how unhappy I was with that response because she came back in shortly telling me that she called for my epi. 

4pm-ish, the Anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural, which was more painful this time than last.  It also didn't work like my first one.  The nurse checked me and I was at a 5.  I was very much looking forward to a nice nap, but before I could get comfortable, I could feel "the baby" (didn't know her gender) moving down.  A very cool feeling since I was completely numb with Caden.  I told Rob.  He laughed and said, "This is coming from the person in labor."  And I responded with, "NO, I can really feeling the baby coming."  He called the nurse in, which was in disbelief since she just checked me.  By this point, I was starting to freak out because my body was wanting to push.  She checked me, sure enough, we were ready to have a baby!  She called my doctor to come over to the hospital from the office since she didn't think I was close to pushing.  The nurse told me not to push, but I kept telling her the baby was going to fall out.  haha.  She kept reassuring me that the baby wouldn't just fall out.  I worked with everything I could to not push.  It really is a natural instinct.  If you aren't going to willingly push, your body will.

Less than an hour after I received my epi, my doctor showed up and I started pushing.  About half-way into my 18 minutes of pushing, my body stopped contracting.  Adalyn was stuck with her cord wrapped around her neck.  I feel in my heart that this is why my body dilated so quickly (5 to 10 in less than 20 minutes) to get her out.  My doctor looked me the eye and said, "You have to get this baby out."  I pushed with everything I had and she was born.  We asked no one to tell me the gender before Rob, but I was so excited when I saw that I just blurted out, "It's a girl!" then I started crying.  I didn't realize right away that she wasn't crying or very alert at all and her arms and legs were blueish.  As soon as I realized that she wasn't moving or crying, I instinctly moved her away from me, it was a strange feeling.  All of this stil makes me sick to my stomach.  Life is so precious.  I started asking why she wasn't crying and the nurse was forcefully rubbing her.  Within a minute or so, she took her first cry.  Those few minutes seemed like forever.

Adalyn swallowed amniotic fluid and she had a fever of 101.  We're still not sure why she had a fever and it was never written in her medical records.  My doctor told me that her face would be bruised, but to be honest I never noticed it much until I saw pictures of her later.  She was just beautiful and perfect to me.  After we spent some time together, they took her to the nursery to be cleaned up, which was another new experience.  Caden never left my side.  I started questioning where my baby was and was told that she wasn't regulating her temp so she had to stay in the nursery for a bit longer.  They were nice enough to let my mom go take pictures while she got her first bird bath.

The first night was rough.  She kept choking on the amniotic fluid so we had to kept suctioning it out.  We were supposed to go home Saturday evening, but due to her bruised face her jaundice levels were dangerously high.  She had to stay in the nursery under the bili lights until Monday morning.  We could hold her for 30 minutes every 3 hours.  That was tough.  My heart aches so much for any parent that leaves the hospital without a baby.  When we walked out without her, it was so unnatural.

On April 5, her original due date, we brought our beautiful baby girl home. 

8 lbs 5 oz, 20.5" with a head FULL of dark hair
4ish hours long labor

Feeling of completeness

I ALMOST (and that's a big almost) want to have another baby for that moment of finding out boy or girl at birth.  That moment alone isn't a great reason to have another baby though.  I really feel in my heart that we are finished.  I know that I will always want to have another baby because I love to take care of people.  I love to feel needed.  I thoroughly enjoy being a mom.  I know that I'll always miss feeling a baby move around in my belly or rub my big pregnant bump.  I've come to terms with that.  I've accepted that those are just things that I'll always want to experience again.  Maternal.  That's what I am.  

That being said, there are a lot of things that I have no desire to experience ever again.  I never want to feel morning sickness or little feet in my ribs making it hard to breathe or having my cervix checked or healing after birth.  Even typing those, they just don't seem that big of a deal when you look at what you get in return.

This week, I was thinking about my children as teenagers.  Years ago when I first became a mom, being a mom to a teenager felt so foreign and now it is an exciting thought.  I'm excited to see who Caden and Adalyn become.  I refuse to rush it though.  Everyday is a new adventure with these two little people.  While I feel conflicted about another baby, I think of all the things that are in our future instead of the things that I will miss in the past.    

For everyone that wants to be a mother, I hope that you get to experience this amazing journey.